11

GYPSY SONG

I walk in your footsteps

but he didn’t want to meet her anymore. He had found me as his twin, he had put a spell on me, in that way we would stay glued for ever.

For that reason it was so painful.

A day in midseason we walked on our path in the woods.
I walked in front and he walked behind. Suddenly out of the fog, from nowhere appeared three persons, two men, and in the middle walked a woman, they came talking to each other heads low, passed me without greeting. It was very strange because usually in the mountains, but also at the sea, when you meet someone you greet friendly, in nature you feel like companions in adventure. They went by without noticing me.
Even the fact that they were flat, bidimensional, didn’t make me think.
I went on speaking with my gypsy about ourselves, but then, I noticed he wasn’t behind me anymore, he had remained in the woods.
After some minutes he arrived thoughtful, short of breath and said

He began to discuss, to bargain, saying that he wasn’t ready, he wanted a bit more time with us.
They said “Another two years.”
For us two years was a lot of time, we could think about it.
Two years later we went to the doctor, just for good luck, to gain some certainties. He said laughing, that in his opinion, with the little medicine that my gypsy took to remain healthy, he could go on for another twenty years.
I felt reassured, in twenty years we would become old together, and even if I was younger, it could be enough in order not to desire anything from life, anymore.

The day after we went to the mountain, the road was snow covered, stacked high at the sides, the lane was very tight.
We were coming home.
I was in my little red pilot car, he was behind with the big jeep. I looked in the rearview mirror and I didn’t see him anymore. I drove slower to let him join me, but he didn’t come. I turned around and went up the road but couldn’t see him, as if he had flown away. Then finally there was the jeep completely turned 180 degrees, to the North.
A man was shouting at him, he had popped out from a curve at full speed, and with a big bang destroyed the side of the car.
So strange, I hadn’t passed that car, I couldn’t understand from where it had come.
My gypsy was totally scared, he couldn’t say a word.
I intervened and told that man he could shut up, take his car and disappear. I was there and had taken things into my own hands.

We went back home, my gypsy was out of his mind, he went to bed, couldn’t stand anymore.
I did not want to understand why.
We called the doctor and his blood tests showed that he was dying.

Two years had gone by but he wasn’t ready, none of us were ready, and a Calvary began through hospitals, in order to keep him with us another few days.
On a very sad day he gave me his ring, that was a way of telling me it was the end. He adored rings, every year I had a new one made for him of different gold colors and Indian red granates for his wonderful fingers.

I had told the head doctor to inform me as soon as they thought there were no more possibilities. He had Hungarian ancestors too and we felt close. He used to take the hands of my gypsy in his hands and say
“I understand you”
On an afternoon at the beginning of July he waited for me in the hallway, in front of the room, he was sitting at the guest table. I didn’t need to sit down, he said
“I’m so sorry”.
My birthday is the 25th of July and I answered
“This is my birthday gift, it comes now so that I would never forget ”.
We came home and my gypsy looked at me with his hazel, golden, green eyes of total love.

He went away the 22nd of July and the light went out of my life.
That month at home it was a coming and going with the ice chest. I went several times to the blood transfusion center to take blood bags in order to give him some hours more.
The doctor disagreed with that, but he pierced anyway and said to me
“Look what you are doing, you keep him beyond any reason.”
Taro moved his mat from one side to the other according to the pierced arm.

It was July but it rained every day so that he could breathe fresh air, we talked
“Now my love you can relax, you’re free, you can go my absolute forever love”
I said that we were lucky, that I would never leave him. He relaxed and asked me to go together, in that way it would be more acceptable.
But I could not, I didn’t know how.
This was the only time that he looked at me without understanding me, I had disappointed him.

Nature came to greet the warrior. On the roof hundreds of blackbirds began a loud aggressive dance. At night bigger mammals came in front of the windows and scratched the glass to say hello, his beloved Abardeen Angus bull Amadeus, dead for many years, was now staying in our garden.

The light had gone out of our lives, I was petrified, flowers stopped flourishing, only his soul moved in the air.
Some hours later the doctor came and asked
“Since when?”
I said “It’s not that important”.
He said “It is alright like that”.

It was July,the rain stopped and it began to be very hot, I wanted him at home ‘til the 25th, my birthday, in that way I wouldn’t forget him ‘til I have memories.
I put duvets on the floor for me and Taro, so we could camp there day and night.
I cried, I screamed, my auras were accompanying him, I was energetically going away with my gypsy.
Taro began to vomit regularly each hour, so that I contacted a Drabarni, a Medicine woman for a telepathic session to ask him
“What can I do to make you feel better?”
he answered
“I’m you, please talk to me at least two minutes a day without crying, take this pressure off my stomach, and the duvets, there are no duvets anymore, the floor is hard.”

I promised, and began to talk without crying for those two minutes a day and put the duvets back on the floor for another two years while he remained with me.
He went there every day and stood for hours in a sort of trance, I was happy, I knew they were together.

After two years, when Taro felt that I finally could make it alone, he went right there, like a beautiful sculpture, and went to Heaven. My beautiful Taro never left me, he lives inside me, in my heart, all three of us, together.